Empowering and Supporting Children to Foster Safe and Supportive Schools | By: Committee for Children Almost daily, I see indicators of the importance of positive social and emotional skills. Just yesterday I came across an article by Travis Bradberry entitled “13 Habits of Exceptionally Likable People,” which related likability to emotional intelligence and behaviors such as not passing judgment, using positive body language, minimizing gossip, and greeting people by name. The article promotes teaching strategies to increase emotional intelligence, yet that alone does not determine why some people use positive social and emotional skills and others do not. Although it would take more than a blog to answer that question fully, one of the ways skills are fostered is through safe, understanding, and encouraging environments. Such environments support children affected by different experiences by empowering and teaching them to act and to help others. These examples show how different surroundings can affect what children do. About a year ago I learned that my friend's daughter, Emmy, stood up for a student who was being teased on the playground. She told the student that was name-calling to stop, and it worked. Emmy's teacher saw the incident while observing on the playground, so she called Emmy's parents to tell them about it. I learned about it from her mother, who proudly shared the story with me in front of her daughter. Emmy excitedly announced that she was learning about how to stop bullying at school and that her friend received a certificate from the principal for being a supporter. After listening to her talk further, I learned that students receive positive recognition in many ways for being positive bystanders, and that Emmy's grandparents also called her to express their encouragement. A few months ago, I also learned about a situation that involved a similar experience with bullying on the playground. The student (bystander) frequently observed another student bullying a boy at recess. The student bystander did not tell his mother or his teacher about it, although he told a friend that it bothered him. He once tried to intervene verbally by saying mean things back to the student who was bullying, but that resulted in negative consequences for him both at school and at home. He was told to ignore the problem if it happened again. The first example shows many indicators of a helpful and encouraging environment, whereas the second is an example of an empathic child who made an attempt to intervene, but did not know how and did not receive support for doing so. It shows the need for a safe and supportive environment that fosters and encourages empathy and use of positive social skills. Although the boy did not respond in an appropriate way, there are many things that could have helped to encourage him and make him feel safe to act as a positive bystander in future situations. The bottom line is that children need us to help them learn and grow in their journey toward becoming socially and emotionally intelligent individuals. We can and do foster this development when we work together to create a positive and encouraging climate where they feel safe to learn and grow.